Tuesday, October 19, 2010

It happened first in Egypt

...or so my Egyptology professor says.

Here's an ancient Egyptian story about King Snefru, father of Khufu (who built the Great Pyramid).

One day King Snefru was bored. His country didn't suffer from hunger, war or strife. But today nothing could make him happy. He paced up and down the halls of his palace at Memphis. He was bored, bored, bored. So he called his magician. "Magician! I am bored. Do something that will lighten my heart."

"My lord, O Great Pharaoh, I will do as you command," said the magician. And he turned his staff into a living snake, which writhed and twisted on the floor in front of Snefru.

At first Snefru was surprised, but he quickly lapsed into depression again. "Magician, you have failed me! Have you nothing else that will amuse me?"
The magician said, "My lord, O Great Pharaoh, you should sail upon the Nile, and on the lake below the palace. This will surely cure you of your ills."

Snefru was reluctant to go to all this trouble for something that might not even be worth the effort, as he had a particularly severe case of boredom. He could literally feel his life-force and ideas in his heart (for he and his viziers believed brain matter to be useless) wasting away with every cubit the Sun fell in the sky.

"This voyage will be different, my lord, O Great Pharaoh," Snefru's magician assured him. "Instead of your normal rowers, you must use fair maidens from your Royal House. When you see them row your boat on the sacred lake, and watch the birds flying, and the fish swimming, and the grass growing, surely your heart will become lighter."

No doubt Snefru's wife and half-sister, Hetep-heres, took issue with this amusement of the King's. But in this endeavor her opinion did not matter, and Snefru was curious to try this idea. So he ordered his attendants to take out the Royal Boat with its twenty oars inlaid with precious metals, with twenty beautiful maidens to row it, each wearing nets of golden thread and ornaments of rare gems. This was done, and he sat on the boat as the women took him up and down the stream and across the sacred lake. Snefru's spirits started to lift as he experienced this new pastime.

Suddenly one of the oars brushed the maiden who was holding it, and it knocked her turquoise fish-earring off of the Royal Boat. She cried out in shock, and stopped rowing. All the other maidens on her side stopped their rowing as well.
"Why have you stopped rowing?!" Snefru exclaimed.

The girl sobbed, "The turquoise earring that you gave me has fallen into the sacred lake, my Lord, O Great Pharaoh. I cannot go on."

Snefru had been having such a good time. Annoyed, he said, "Do not worry. I shall give you another."

The girl continued crying. "But I want this one! There is none like it!"

Snefru was not about to jump into the sacred lake, for though he was God incarnate, he could not swim, much less dive to the bottom of the lake where the earring lay. He did not want to risk meeting the Gods sooner than expected just to recover a stupid ornament. So once again he sent for his magician. The magician was brought to him. "O magician, I have done as you advised and my spirits have lifted greatly. But this maiden has lost her turqoise earring at the bottom of the lake, and I want you to recover it for her."

"My lord, O Great Pharaoh, I shall do as you ask. It is not a difficult enchantment, but I hope it may lighten your heart even further when you see its magic." So the magician chanted a great spell, and, standing at the edge of the Royal Boat, he held out his rod over the waters of the sacred lake. And as if the lake had been sliced by a great sword, the waters parted, leaving a dry area at the very bottom where, to the maiden's delight, the amulet rested. She jumped from the boat and grabbed it from the lake bottom, resuming her place at the oar. And the magician lowered his rod, and the waters slowly came back together, leaving only smooth surface where there once had been a great chasm of water. The Pharaoh praised his great magician, and all were happy.

After this enlightening story had ended, we reached Dahshur, site of the Bent Pyramid and Red Pyramid of King Snefru. (These weren't the only ones. He went on a building spree and built a total of four pyramids during his reign, which is strange because each pyramid would have taken about 20 years to build and this was about how long he reigned for.) After the collapsed pyramid of Meidum, the Bent Pyramid is the second-biggest epic fail in Egyptian history. It seems the builders miscalculated the angles of the sides and realized they were too steep, so about halfway up they had to change the angles to keep the pyramid from falling in on itself. I guess it's a lot like when you try pouring a tower of sugar...there's a certain point where the sugar won't go any higher and just collects around the sides.






Above: My professor points out an unfinished coffin for a young child; her guess was that he didn't die so they gave up the task.

We briskly strode around the Bent Pyramid to Snefru's valley temple, now a jumble of rocks far from any sacred lake or river. Technically this was off-limits, but when you're with an Egyptologist anything is possible. Just keep running.



Next on our list was the Red Pyramid.



We went inside single-file and started crawling down the 4-foot-by-4-foot tunnel that led to the burial chamber. About a minute in, all the lights shut off. I'm not joking, it was creepy as hell. But we continued and eventually reached the small room where the king would have been buried, at which point the lights went back on.



Another highlight of this trip was King Djoser's step pyramid at Saqqara, a 15-minute drive north. The coolest thing about Saqqara is that it was supposed to be a carbon (well, stone) copy of the living city of Memphis, which was very close by and was the King's capital. He would be buried at Saqqara and have everything with him in exact form, down to the last sexy curve (the only one in Egyptian architecture) of his temple wall.



We also traipsed across the dusty desert to visit about 7 other tomb complexes dotting the area.


Above: The two professors lead us to our doom in the shifting sands.





Another function of Djoser's (fun)erary complex is the vast square that lies to the south of the step pyramid. It was used for running the Heb-Sed, a race that took place every 30 years in which the Pharaoh proved his worth by racing a bull around the square. If he won the race, his reign would be renewed for another 30 years. If not, he would be stamped an incompetent leader and swiftly replaced. We have no records of kings ever losing the Heb-Sed, and of course, in all the Pharaoh's portraits he has amazing leg muscles. More about propaganda in a future post.
Here's a video of me and a few classmates taking part in this prestigious tradition.



According to my professor, as you can hear on the video, we all cheated. Guess we know who's failing the quiz this Monday!

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